The Douche Approves
by Candy-Vegetto
Summary: Gideon decides to be a douche to Dipper Pines. {one-shot}


**The Douche Approves**

 _Starring Gideon Gleeful as Gideon "The Douche" Gleeful._

 _And Dipper Pines as Dipper "The Victim" Pines._

* * *

One day, during the summer of Gravity Falls, there were two characters. One was named Gideon Gleeful and the other was named Dipper Pines. These two kids were fighting over something that was related to a series of diaries called 'The Journal'. Dipper had the third book in the series, while Gideon had the second.

They have fought over countless things and due to their mishaps and crazy debates on the supernatural, they were rivals to the end. Even though they were only ten and twelve respectively. Gideon wore a light-blue suit, while Dipper wore regular clothing with a distinct Pine Tree hat.

Today, Gideon and Dipper were stranded on a cliff, both waiting for help to rescue them. There was an unnamed pig eating the grass by the very edge of the cliff. The two rivals were silent, standing around the edge of the cliff. When suddenly, Gideon smacked Dipper in the arm with a fist full of his five fingers.

"Ow." Dipper rubbed his arm, seething in pain.

"What happened, my dear?" Gideon asked, with fake concern. He had a hand over his mouth, trying to act innocent and shocked.

"You _punched_ me." Dipper stated.

Gideon huffed, placing his hands on his hips. "Now, _why_ would I do that?" he asked, tilting his head.

"Because you're a douche." Dipper answered in a monotone voice.

Roll credits.

* * *

 **Credits:**

 **Writer: Jason**

 **Director: Mabel Pines**

 **Editor: Soos Ramirez and Waddles**

 **Cameraman: Mabel Pines**

 **Producer: Pacifica Northwest**

* * *

 **Post-Production notes:**

 **Jason:** _i wanna thank my plants and pets. i wanna thank my food and my water and my air for keeping me alive. i also want to thank my bed for giving me a good sleep. i wanna thank my shower for giving me warm water for my baths. i thanks my parents for giving birth to me. i also want to thank the creator, Alex Hirsch, for making such a wonderful show: gravy fails._

 _watch it on the disney world. its funny and has lots of jokes that goes over kids heads and has a mystery element._

 _spoiler alert steven has a twin bro called stephen._

 **Mabel:** I couldn't have made the show possible without everyone I know. I even made them sweaters to forever remember this day. I think Pacifica likes hers because she immediately went to her room that night to try it on. She didn't show me what it looked like, so she's probably keeping it secret.

And I think there was some bet going on because I saw a secret exchange between Dipper and Gideon, and I saw them passing money! Maybe they reconciled?

Nah, I wouldn't even reconcile with him.

 **Soos:** Wow, I got to work in the editing room! I feel like a pro on set, with all the equipment. I think I spilled something on the buttons, but it's okay, I fixed it with duck tape. Even though Waddles was listed as editor, I let him out for today, you know, let him rest. Give him a tour around the set.

 **Waddles:** Is this an interview? I totally did not eat the grass on set.

 **Pacifica Northwest:** I just wanted to watch Ducktective when all of the sudden, these dorks begged me to hire a set for the day and went nuts in the editing room. After a full twenty-four hours, they created this thing and then I went to bed.

 **Dipper:** I was paid thirty dollars to do this. I'm sorry, Grunkle Stan.

I got to call Gideon a douche on TV, though.

 **Gideon:** I want to say thank you to everyone. I want all of you to remember me and admire me and worship me. There was no hidden subliminal messages in this one, I swear.

* * *

Outtakes:

Their adventures through time, space and dimensions almost costed them their lives. Dipper even imagined having a twin sister to accompany him through the adventure, while Gideon imagined a golden dorito-like character as an omnipotent god who can do stuff. Their deadbeat fathers, Stan and Bud, were happily married and the kids had to force themselves to live with it—

Okay. What the _hell_ am I writing?

Is this some kind of 'Dipper is crazy' theory?


End file.
